John Carter

My friend treated me to a matinee of John Carter today.  My friend loves Taylor Kitsch.  I like him a lot.  My friend really enjoyed the movie.  I had a pretty good time, but I won’t remember much about it in a week.  My favorite part was the polliwog-monster-dog-thingy.  I never did figure out what they called him!  Mr. Kitsch looked mighty fine once he lost the shaggy beard and shirt, and I always enjoy seeing James Purefoy.  The movie was too long, although my friend thought it was fine.  We debated whether there was anything that could have been trimmed out, but for me it was just about picking up the pace, especially at the beginning.

I will remember John Carter for one reason: it’s my very first 3D movie.  It’s hard to believe I’ve avoided 3D for so long.  I’m too cheap to pay the extra cost, and I was afraid that I’d get a big headache.  I have sensitive eyes.  I didn’t get a headache, but I’m not a fan of the effect.  I understand the technology has come a long way, but having parts of the image at several different depths doesn’t come close to the smooth gradations that the human eye perceives in three dimensions.  It doesn’t look more real—it’s just a different kind of unreal.  For me, it was more of a distraction than an enhancement.  I have no other 3D experience to compare to John Carter, but every time they had a bright desert scene with large light or white areas, there was a dingy layer in the middle ground.  I kept wanting to reach up and clean the glass.  It reminded me of watching movies at the drive-in through a dirty windshield.  There was one scene that looked totally silly.  It was early on, when Carter is taken to a military outpost in Arizona.  The rough wood-paneled walls looked ridiculously fake, like something from a ride at Disneyland.

When my friends go to the movies, I always make them tell me about the trailers.  It’s only fair that I do the same! We saw trailers for Chimpanzee, MIB 3, The Avengers, Brave, Madagascar 3, and Battleship.  The Chimpanzee trailer made me teary, and it looks gorgeous. I was excited to see The Avengers one because I like Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth.  Battleship doesn’t look like my kind of movie, so unless my friend buys me another ticket, I will probably avoid it.  I was disappointed there was no 3D trailer for Titanic, because I’m really curious about how it will look.

I made this collage for my friend as a thank you for treating me to the movie:

Taylor Kitsch as John Carter

Taylor Kitsch as John Carter (click to see larger version)

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Katelyn on March 12, 2012 at 10:48 pm

    Thanks for the review! I like Taylor Kitsch, but I’m not sure “John Carter” is my cup of tea. And all I think of when I hear the title is “ER.”

    Hard to believe you’ve never seen a movie in 3D before (although I hear ya on the extra price increase). I don’t know what “John Carter” looked like, but you should give 3D a try with another movie before you make up your mind (perhaps a less action-type one). Not that I believe 3D is the better alternative for all films, but for some it works well (Hugo being a good example). Maybe Titanic will be more to your liking? I can’t wait to see that on the big screen again though, 3D or no 3D. Can’t believe it’s been 15 years since it first came out!

    Reply

    • I got a sense of some other movies just from the 3D trailers. I think Chimpanzee was the only 2D trailer of the group. I’m not going to give up on 3D, but I’ll be careful with what I select.

      Titanic! I just wish there was a way they could take out Billy Zane.

      Reply

  2. Good review. Kitsch could have definitely been a little bit more charismatic but the flick still works due to amazing special effects and some really fun and exciting action. Sad thing is that this flick was made for $250 million and won’t make any of it back. Not a must-see by any means but still a good one to check out for the fun of it.

    Reply

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